Oh that you would bless me

Back in the days of my misty past I can recall a time when I was in my early to mid thirties and after many wasted and often stupid years, it appeared as if I was beginning to ‘make it’; whatever the heck that means. I recall that I had no problems filling my weeks as I spent six of them at work. Five of those days I left home at 6.00am and got home sometime after 7.00 that night and Saturday was easy as I wandered in at 8.00 and got home around 2.00. My at home time was usually spent in a prone position, beer at hand, reading or watching TV or both. Life was good. But in many of course it actually wasn’t!

In a couple of weeks I am going to be doing a talk on lostness. I am not an expert on many things but lostness I understand. I had a great family, a good, well paid job, enjoying the regard of many in my business and I was lost. Ironically, at the height of my perceived success, I had never felt such a sense of emptiness, loneliness and lack of direction.

In the midst of this turmoil I began to mix – somewhat reluctantly - with some of my wife’s new found friends from the local church. Darn it; I even liked some of them!! Over a period of time and after a number of significant nudges I found myself trying out this church thing again. It eventually grew into the best addiction that I have ever known. My life was changed forever. There was no going back the course was set.
Some years ago now an obscure little prayer in the Old Testament turned into a best selling book. This prayer is the prayer of Jabez:

Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from hurt and harm.”’ 1 Chronicles 4:10

Sadly some sections of the Christian church have translated this prayer into some kind of prosperity prayer whereby God will bless us by giving us lots of stuff! Jabez didn’t ask for stuff; just a blessing and that God might enlarge his borders and that His hand might be with him.

I didn’t know this prayer when God was sorting me out almost 30 years ago; but this afternoon I have spent a long time reflecting on it. I have considered how much God has blessed me over these amazing years. Ronnie and I still don’t have much stuff; but we have never doubted how blessed we have been. In my seeking years my borders were defined by a textile factory in Collingwood and home an hours drive west of there. Nowadays I can’t stop looking for new horizons. Gods has enlarged my borders so much that I can’t stop looking to cross new ones.

I was comparing journeys with someone a week or so back and they finally asked me, ‘So John, where is home for you?’ I was able to say quite easily, ‘Nowhere’. I don’t have a sense of home being anywhere for me and I am content with that. I still work on this crazy theory that God has lead me so far by his grace and has kept me from hurt and harm. So I journey on.

I read the prayer of Jabez and then I look at the words of Jesus:

“If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

At first glance it looks like drudgery: ‘Oh well, another day another dollar; better pick up that cross and keep following.’ Living out your dream is not one victory after another; but because you own the dream, you are willing to pay the price in the here and now. It does have its moments but I wouldn’t swap this for all the stuff in the world. Remember that bit in Genesis when God is calling out to a shame and fear-filled Adam, ‘Where are you?’ I want to be able to say, ‘Right here Lord, still following the Master.’