A conversation with Anthony

It is fascinating living life through the eyes of children. I recall some weeks ago I dropped in on our Tuesday Playgroup and found myself falling into conversation with one of my favourite young men, a pre-schooler called Anthony. To prove that men really can do more than one thing at once, Anthony and I were able to hold this conversation whilst manufacturing, slicing and eating some very tasty play dough sausage.

Now, it does need to be said that a lot of our discussion was a little one sided as there were several occasions when my poor adult mind was unable to figure out the intricacies let alone the pace of my young friends language. Nevertheless, Anthony was very kind and full of grace and despite my ignorance battled on with me.

I was very much struck by my time with Anthony. If I had decided that I was in too much of a hurry, or that I needed to speak to an adult, or that really ‘I don’t understand the child anyway,’ so why bother, I believe that I would have missed something very precious. I have no doubt that Anthony valued our time together and I certainly appreciated him making time for me in his busy morning.

This experience with Anthony got me thinking about realtionships generally and then specifically with God. There is a richness that comes from the byplay of close relationships. These are not just business transactions, they should be punctuated with moments of laughter, quietness, a soft touch, a knowing look; a grimace or smile. I wonder are some of these things also true of my relationship with God? Should we even consider God in this way?

Personally, I’m really glad that God, the Creator of the Universe, is willing to sit at my table and help me with my latest play dough creation. Sometimes it might seem that I am not really getting through but I chatter on and somehow at the end of it all I feel so much better for the experience. I feel valued and important.

Whenever I serve Holy Communion to people I try to make it as personal as possible. I may not always use people’s names – sometimes I don’t know names – but I try to ensure that people own what is happening. When I say ‘Bob, the Body of Christ.’ I want Bob to know that this really is for him. Sometimes we come to a place (even church) and we feel pretty much unknown and anonymous. In the simple offering of bread and wine we remind people that they are known and they have a name. That in itself is a life giving act.

I am a great believer in building authentic relationships and would have to admit that when I talk about this sometimes in a church setting a lot of people really don’t get it. I like to think that Anthony got it yesterday (I know I did) and I like to think that my Scripture class will get it tomorrow. An authentic relationship values someone for who they are, not who we might like them to be. When we accept the truth of someone and see him or her as an individual who is created in the image of God and is therefore a reflection of God’s goodness, then we are on the way to authenticity. I like the thoughts of writer Madeleine L’Engle:

Because you’re not what I would have you be
I blind myself to who, in truth, you are.
Seeking mirage where desert blooms, I mar
Your you. Aah, I would like to see
Past all delusion to reality:
Then I would see God’s image in your face.

Spend some quality time with a child this week and look beyond the mirage into the face and image of God. My guess is it will make a difference.

Cheers - John

As well as Anthony, thanks also to Rochelle Melander whose book A Generous Presence provided the above quote and affirmed my thoughts regarding authenticity.